The Best Thirty Minutes

After a rather tiring but wonderful morning, I decided to take an equally wonderful nap. Nothing new or exciting for me. But I had a glorious glimpse of inexpressible joy. The sort of joy that can only be felt in the presence of the Father.

After ignoring my alarm clock (by ignore I mean strike multiple times) I fell back asleep for like 30 extra minutes...what a great half hour though.

Now, I recognize that none of this is Biblical, but it did get me thinking and has lit me on fire with this awesome joy that I can't contain. I would give anything to feel the joy that I had felt during this half hour.

So here's what I experienced in a dream...

After going through some crazy struggles and misadventures (at one point I remember telling my two comrades to just hold on and have faith that we'll get there) we finally got there. The funny part is that we didn't even know where or what "there" was...we just felt like we needed to get there.

So after some sort of odd transformation process that resembles a Pirates of the Caribbean movie, we're hanging out in a lounge/kitchen with a bunch of people that I don't know, (I think one was the violinist from Dave Matthews Band...haha) and eating brownies. Everyone is super excited to see me and each recalls points of my journey which they watched me very closely. We share laughs over the times I took the hard way or thought I had a short cut, but turned out wrong.

Then it dawned on me.

I was in heaven.

Right about that moment I saw Him.

Christ.

He was just cooking something in the back, quietly chatting with someone when I saw Him. Initially I froze...then realized that I should worship Him. After falling on my face, instead of worshiping Him because I felt like I should, I worshipped Him because I was compelled to.

I wailed and screamed, begging for forgiveness and completely awestruck by His presence. I truly worshipped Him with everything, unashamed. My joy was unlike anything I had ever felt in my entire life. I can honestly say that I've never felt this much joy before, and just writing this is bringing a smile to my face.

I received a glimpse of what I believe to be heaven. Everyone loving on each other. Christ is just shooting the breeze with whoever. Joy. In it's purist form, Joy. This is what God intended for His creation, and this is our end.

I can't wait.

Reasonable Obedience

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you obey (or at least try to) God?...Here's a list of the correct answers:

1) Because I love God.
2) Because I serve God.
3) Because I am pursuing God with all my heart.

Those are all awesome reasons, and I hope/pray that you all can honestly say that. Here's a list of my honest answers.

1) I don't want to get in trouble, or punished.
2) If I do obey God, maybe He'll make things go my way.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason you try to do what God wants is just to get on His "good side?" Perhaps the only reason you are a Christian is because you don't want to end up burning for the rest of eternity.

Either way, I feel like I'm not a Christian for the right reason. I was raised in this belief system, and it makes the most sense to me, but is that enough? Don't get me wrong, I'm not questioning the existence of my faith, but rather the authenticity and reasoning behind it.

Sorry about a blog entry all about me. Hopefully someone out there (if anyone reads this...haha) will be able to relate. If so, my only advice is to keep searching. Keep asking. Keep the faith...but check your reasons.