Fake....

I came to a realization tonight....One that's always been there, I've just never admitted it...

I'm a fake.

Tonight, God asked me to give everything over to Him. And instantly, I thought of what was most important to me. Surprisingly, God was not on that list. (Perhaps because I was thinking of what God might take from me, and obviously God can't take God. Maybe this touches on a deeper issue of taking God for granted because He is always there.)

Anyhow, after going over this list of important things, I decided, for whatever reason, that I didn't want to surrender certain things to God. God called me out on it and said, "Hey, what happens if I want this from you?"

I said "No, I just don't think I can do that"

I spent the rest of an awesome worship set pouting and arguing with God about my level of commitment. I questioned my faith...a lot.

What if God isn't really enough for me?

What if I don't want to live a life of sacrifice?

What if I'm not content in surrendering everything to God?

So here's the really big issue. I preach and teach everyone that God is sufficient. That we should abandon all for God's work. That God isn't at the top of our priority list, but that He is the list.

But I can't do it....I'm a fake....